Flesh Thorns - Without A Soul To Save

This is a re-up of my very first band's recordings, specifically for my old friend (and fellow Flesh Thorn) Scott Thomas. This band was formed around 1989-90 and lasted roughly two years. We were playing shows at bars and clubs when we were still in high school. Scott, who was our drummer, was about 15 years old. I was 16 and I think Jonathan (on vocals) was about 18 or 19 at the time we started playing out. The Flesh Thorns were my first band and I think it was also the first band of Jonathan and Scott, too. At least the first one that ever played a show. We tried a few different bass players out until Rick from Punchin' Judy (the definitive Bristol punk band that Scott actually ended up spending many years in) finally joined us to complete the line-up you hear in the live recording on this release. This show was played on the night the original Iraq war (Desert Storm) started and we did the D.I. song "They Must Wanna Die" in dedication to our bloodthirsty leaders with Jonathan stomping a toy soldier that crawled across the stage with a light up gun blasting away.
Anyway, about the recordings here:
The live tracks are from the above mentioned show and the demo tracks are from a four-track session we did shortly before disbanding in late '91. I haven't done any remixing to these tracks, so they retain their original punk rock cassette release splendor, but I did go in and scan the original cover and touch it up a bit due to its ancient quality. My apologies for not tagging the tracks properly but they are named. I'll try to get to that if I end up uploading this to the Psyche Zenobia LastFM label page.

So that's about it. In all its glory, here I present The Flesh Thorns:

Jonathan Perry - vocals
William Van Huss - guitar
Rick Morrell - bass (on live tracks)
Scott Thomas - drums

Download The Flesh Thorns

Paintings

Your Name Here

Secret of the Sasquatch

Roma

At long last, I've begun work on getting images of my paintings. Borrowed a digital camera from a friend the other night and took some pics. They didn't turn out that well but it was my first attempt. The focus and resolution leave something to be desired but a couple of them were salvageable. These three were all painted in acrylics circa 2002-03. "Secret of the Sasquatch" is on canvas board and the other two are both on stretched canvas. Here's a link to my profile on Deviant Art if you'd like to what else I've managed to upload to the net.

A Life Without Fear (essay 2007)

This piece was published in University of Virginia's literary journal, Jimson Weed, in 2007. At one time I had it on this blog but I, for reasons I don't remember, deleted it a while back. I'm putting it back up now for two reasons. First, UVA never updated their site for the journal and so the issue is not available as a pdf there as the rest of their back issues are. And secondly, because I simply like the piece and it serves a decent representation of some of my more recent work in essays. Enjoy and comment if you like it or have any constructive criticism to offer.

A Life Without Fear

A life without fear. Is it possible? Ever since the first humans grouped together for protection from other animals, the elements, and each other, we have lived in fear. As sentient beings we have the ability to remember and anticipate and we have come to fetishize fear to such an extreme that it permeates every aspect of our lives. It runs in the background at all times and is manipulated and used by all of us toward one another in a seemingly never ending cycle. George Bush does not have a monopoly on fear. Neither did Adolf Hitler, though he did a better job at using it. No, the fear I am speaking of reaches back much further than those men and is much bigger than them.

Animals, bacteria, and plants live in the now. They carry instinct and a sense for survival. They do what the need to do and fulfill their purpose. A forest, from the bacteria, dirt, and bugs, to the animals and vegetation, is a world existing simultaneously alongside of ours. It does not run on fear, though fear is an element. It runs on necessity and even Love. Not the love that we think of in “I love you” or the love for the objects that one may have acquired and which they identify their life with. A forest runs on the same Love spoken of by Buddha and by Christ. Existence without time. Perception dictates reaction and our perception is different. The radio we are equipped with, our brain, is unique among species but what we have chosen to do with it sets us even farther apart. We have chosen to live lives governed by fear. We have chosen to put our lives in the hands of others who are also governed by fear. And any perception of freedom that we still have is only a ghost of a past we have long since parted ways with.

Is your cholesterol O.K.? Are your children safe? Do you have a silent death within you waiting to take you away from all that you “love”? These are questions we live with everyday, but they are not the only ones. Fear penetrates deeper than that. Every aspect of what we think of as being a human being on this planet is touched by fear. Just drive around and look at the bumper stickers, the church signs, etc. Watch television, listen to the radio, explore the internet, talk to your fellow humans. You will find the same thing coming up everywhere. A sense of fear and dread and an opinion (important word) that this is the only way to live. It’s not, but it’s also not easy to escape either. Even your awareness of the situation can only provide you with a moment, here and there, of clarity. “Knowledge is power”? Whoever said that was sadly mistaken. Knowledge only gives one the ability to see the chains that bind them. Wisdom is freedom and power is based on fear would be a little more accurate. But it’s Love, and breaking free of the weight of your fear, that’s the only thing that will save you from wasting the beautiful experience of life that you have been given. Whether by chance or design.

Our societies, not just Western or the US, are based on this fear. They need it to continue. Animals and viruses don’t depend on it constantly. They use is when they need to and then forget about it until they need it again. We don’t. We remember it and fear the return of fear. We became obsessed with it a long time ago and started governments and religions to protect us from it. And what are they protecting us from? Death? Death is life. It is just as important that we die as what we do while we are alive. In fact, we will spend much more time dead than alive so while we are here we should, at least, not spread fear. You will die and so will I. And I’m sure that there isn’t many of us who will not feel fear when it happens. But that is natural. What is not natural is to live under that fear constantly and remind oneself of it over and over. People wonder what causes such things as depression and obsessive compulsiveness to flourish in our society. It’s a natural reaction to living in an unnatural way. If you take a dog and out of nature and you beat it and psychologically torture it for a period of time it will react. It’s hair might fall out. It may develop strange habits like scratching constantly or walking in circles and pacing. This is akin to the way humans have begun to react in the last century, at least on a larger scale. Our society has been held captive by our fear for a long time but, since the advent of the Industrial Revolution and the scientific advances in communication, it has spiraled even further into this madness and away from Truth. The truth of who we are and what is happening around us. From the smallest of atoms to the largest of galaxies, we are a part of this. And the fetish for fear is blinding to that. It may be useful and help us survive at times but to give our experience of life away for it is insanity.

The ability to perceive Beauty, itself, is evidence of God. Insert Love for God if you carry too many memories of church or connotations of what that means but Love can carry it’s own set of connotations, as well. What I am speaking of is the unspeakable. There aren’t many words for it that are not already in use for something less great. That’s why I like to use Tao sometimes. “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao”.

The Rock 'n' Roll Daddy Has Done Passed On

I can hardly express the influence The Cramps had on me growing up. I started listening to their music when I was about 12 years old after getting a copy of the Return of the Living Dead soundtrack. That lead me to "Bad Music For Bad People" and the rest is history. I found out this morning that Lux Interior passed away last night in California. Rock and roll has lost one of its true greats and it's hard to express how I feel right now. Suffice to say, The Cramps' music will be around a long time and they will continue to influence new generations of musicians. Enjoy this classic clip from "Urgh! A Music War" and also I've included a link for "Smell of Female", the superb live e.p. recorded at the Peppermint Lounge in the early 80's.


Download "Smell of Female"